To relate to your pain you have to love yourself, part 3

Although we tend to recoil from pain, we also tend to cling to its causes.

It’s weird.

And it perpetuates pain.

It causes a state of lock down. We hate the recurring pain in our lives, but we do not change the root causes. In fact we repeat them, sometimes on purpose.

We don’t change the little things we can change. Because they are familiar and predictable.

We cling to life as we know it.

Because we know it.

Even if we hate it. Even if it frustrates or endangers us.

This lock down chokes off possibility, hinders vision, and creates an addiction to relief.

Not progress or growth. Not constructive, incremental change.

Relief.

The temporary superficial alleviation of pain through distraction.

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To relate to your pain you have to love yourself, part 2

We tend to recoil from pain. So we don’t easily learn from it. It can take repeated, prolonged encounters with the same form of pain before insight happens.

From malfunctions in relationship, to taking things personally at work, to holding on to anger, to world wars.

It’s the same problem: in recoiling from pain, we move not toward balance, but toward a different form of imbalance.

And that’s guaranteed to perpetuate pain.

To make it worse. To compound it over time. To weave it into the fabric of how we do things.

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To relate to your pain you have to love yourself, part 1

Without darkness there is no light. Without sorrow there is no joy. Without this there is no that blah blah blah. Blah. Whatever. That’s not the point. There’s little sense in trying to explain or understand the existence of pain unless you’re going to do something about it. The real constructive effort lies in learning [...]

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To stay in the now you have to love yourself, part 5

Presence is a kind of prayer state. The more present you are the more pure your experience of simple being. That’s what presence is: simple being with focused consciousness. You simply are. And you know it. Presence is not spooky or ghostly. There’s no buzz or euphoria. It’s nothing unusual. The fuller it is the [...]

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Self love and staying in the now, part 4

You can learn a lot from distraction. The thoughts that keep recurring. The desires that pull you. These things are information about how you are inside. About aspects of you that need expression and haven’t found it yet. In the present, if you observe, you’ll see your attitudes and orientations. The involuntary aspects of you [...]

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To remain in the now you have to love yourself, part 3

Fullness of life involves openness to whatever life hands you. Hard. Easy. Whatever. The only way to experience life with balance and completion is to be all in. Each aspect of you. Nothing left in the cupboard. Nothing ignored, rejected, forbidden, forgotten or lost. The fury, the lust, the child-like animation, the reliability, the volatility, [...]

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