self discovery

To relate to your pain you have to love yourself, part 4

Our tendency to cling to the agencies of pain comes from our fear of lack.

Of loss.

And to an underlying, even unconscious, sense of separation from the rest of everything.

From each other. From the world. From God.

From ourselves.

It’s that separation from self on which the whole thing rests. When you deny some aspect of yourself, you are cut off from the whole.

Separated.

We grab onto whatever we’re used to. A known quantity. Even if it does not serve us. Even if it’s destructive.

A behavior.

A fantasy.

A situation.

A relationship.

For fear of being left with nothing.

Not realizing that our birthright and our most natural state is to live in connection and prosperity, based on the full, free expression of who we are.

To remain in the now you have to love yourself, part 2

By Peter Crowell 6 Comments

Authenticity is passive.

Mostly.

There are times when you have to actively be yourself. But there are aspects of authenticity you can’t “do.”

You cannot deliberately experience joy, for example. You can only allow it to happen.

And experiencing joy is part of being you. No matter what you might think to the contrary. (If you do think to the contrary, you need to practice staying in the now.)

Because being yourself is a byproduct of cultivating presence. Of residence in the now.

We all need to experience our own beauty as often as possible. And we can’t do that hypothetically. We have to step into the present moment, again and again, and take honest account of what we find.

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Filed Under: Becoming Human Tagged With: being yourself, loving yourself, self discovery, the now, transformation

To remain in the now, you have to love yourself

By Peter Crowell 3 Comments

The past is one second ago. The future is one second away. The now is now, and only now.

No matter when that is.

No matter what’s going on.

And the now is where everything happens.

It can be a painful, scary place. And it can be ecstatic. Or it can be calm, steady, almost unnoticeable.

Our level of penetration into the now is called presence. We are only present to the degree that we can bear being in the now.

If the now is too painful, all or part of you will tend to check out. And there are lots of ways to check out.

Not checking out comes down to your ability to relax.

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Filed Under: Becoming Human Tagged With: being yourself, full self, inner obstacles, Love, loving yourself, self discovery

Self love is crucial to developing your talents, part 2

By Peter Crowell 4 Comments

Fullness of life is our birthright. It’s why we’re here. And few of us have ever managed to claim it.

Because of what it involves.

Which is exactly what it sounds like.

Fullness.

Not survival. Not subsistence. Not getting by. Not even reasonable comfort or even opulence.

Fullness of life includes satisfaction and appropriate challenge in your work, your relationships, your environment, your inner experience.

Also, in your sense of what the future holds for you, the people you love, and the society and world in which we all live and move.

Self love is crucial to developing your talents, part 1

By Peter Crowell 15 Comments

Devoting time and energy to a talent or an idea is an indicator that self love is present.

Developing your talents is crucial to discovering, experiencing and revealing who you really are.

If you are not doing this, then huge regions of your being go unexplored and your sense of self is not what it could be.

You may have created a safe, small world for yourself, where you are in control and things are comfortable.

Or you may have done the opposite. You may have created a world filled with stress, frustration, a job you hate or a relationship that keeps you on edge.

Either way you’ve blocked out your talents. A huge part of you is simply not present.

Because it doesn’t fit in the world you’ve created.

You’ve constructed or become trapped in a world where essential elements of your being are simply not welcome.

But you’re not really trapped. There’s a way out.

Or in, if you like.

It just feels a little dangerous.

Love others, yes. But love yourself first.

By Peter Crowell Leave a Comment

In order to fully realize your potential as a human person, you must allow the unobstructed flow of God to pass through you.

It happens through your talents, your ideas, your relationships.

The energy that brought you into being and holds you there, also empowers you to reveal it to the world through your thoughts, words and deeds.

And you can participate in that on purpose, if you choose to. That’s how you love other people.

You take that flow of the love of God through you and you point it at other people.

But to do that, you have to love yourself.

Because self love is the love of God activated through you. And it is the source of the love you give to others.

The risk and opportunity of being alive: relationship with pain, part 5

By Peter Crowell Leave a Comment

The word Odysseus has been translated to mean son of pain. Pain given and pain received. Odysseus seems to have become himself through the rigors of life.

Rigors he endured, and rigors he inflicted on others.

It’s a mixed process and we’re all in it. It is impossible to get through life without experiencing both sides of this coin.

And trying to is a colossal waste of time.

So self actualization is not easy. Whether it’s meant to be or not is difficult to say. At this stage in human evolution, it isn’t.

It’s hard.

And this is especially true when you are trying to be yourself and live a life of your own making.

Being yourself will stir up the people around you: relationship with pain part 4

By Peter Crowell 8 Comments

As you do the work of becoming yourself you will start to glow. Your presence will change the chemistry of a room.

You won’t need to be loud or flashy. You won’t need to try to be noticeable. You won’t need to do anything to stand out.

You simply will.

Because when you’re you, you don’t resemble anyone else. You stand in contrast to everyone around you.

Especially among people who are not being themselves.

Become your own frame of reference: relationship with pain part 2

By Peter Crowell 12 Comments

Turns out pain is a necessary aspect of life.

Who knew?

At least, we can’t escape it. And trying to usually leads to more pain, or an extension of the pain we’re trying to avoid.

Trying to live without pain ends up being a huge waste of time.

In a world full of people doing the work of self actualization, I assume there would be a lot less pain. But the road to that world seems to be paved with it.

Some pain has no explanation. And for some pain there is no response except to manage it the best you can.

But most pain indicates a problem to be solved. And in solving those problems we advance.

Pain is ever present as we continue to experience and reveal more and more of ourselves. As we grow into the individual manifestations of love we are intended to be.

Manifest your full self by establishing a relationship with pain

By Peter Crowell 2 Comments

There are no bombs going off in my neighborhood.

I’ve never known hunger I did not choose, or lack of shelter or clean water.

I’ve never lost a person close to me. I’ve never experienced life threatening disease or serious bodily injury.

The pain I deal with every day is the every-day pain of being human.

Financial pressure. Also the sense of mortality that strengthens as I grow older. And the concerns for my family that can activate fear.

But most of all I feel the urgency that goes with having a vision for my life.